i already hear my dad disowning me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
