I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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