I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
