omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The power of my boobs compel you
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
