I just cut my nipple shaving
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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