somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
