think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
