I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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