I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
