if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
