Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
