Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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