69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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