I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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