last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
