I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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