You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
