I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
