I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
