The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
