It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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