Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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