Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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