chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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