I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
40s are totally the cure
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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