The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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