Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
