I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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