We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
