We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
