I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
