I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
