Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
