I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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