while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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