I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
