Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
