If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
