hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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