Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
