he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
