I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
