I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
