if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
