He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
