told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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