I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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