I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
