I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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