how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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